[IC]Farewells

YC 117.07.27
Fliet III – Federal Defense Union Logistic Support
Aideron Robotics Pilots Lounge

“The ship’s should be transferred to your hanger now Min”.
“Are you sure you have to leave?” Min asked sadly. “I know you haven’t been able to fly with us for a while, but that doesn’t mean you have to go.”
Jaron laughed. “It’s for the best. I’m going to be letting my pilots license lapse. It expires on the sixth and I’m not going to seek a renewal or extension.” Jaron shook his fellow pilots hand.
“It really has been a joy flying with everyone over the last 18 months. I’ll still keep in touch through all available means, but I will have restricted access to Galnet.”
“I’ll put these ships to good use, and when you are ready to return to the skies, I’ll make sure you have some ships to fly”. Min gave his corpmate a pat on the back.
“Thanks man, fly safe and give my regards to the corp”.

Jaron took one last look at his now almost empty hanger, with only his Thannatos class carrier still present, as he was not able to take it with him back to high sec where all of his other assets from Fliet had been moved to.
“Goodbye old friends. I will miss you all”
He turned and headed off to the stations clone bay to activate his jump clone that was ready and waiting for him in a station in Jolia, ready for his latest stint as a retired Capsuleer.

ThreeFiveTwo HQ,
Jolia, Sinq Laison

“Welcome back Mr Hearn, I trust your journey was uneventful?” Jarons personal assistant inquired when he emerged from the shower.
“As always” Jaron chuckled as he finished drying off. “Do you have that paper work I requested?”
“Yes Sir, I’ll have Kerrigan deliver it himself once you have looked it over and signed off on it.”
“Good girl.”
A few minutes later and he had officially left Aideron Robotics, drawing to a close his time fighting for the Gallente Federation.
“Make sure Karrigan gets this paperwork where it needs to go as soon as possible.”
“Yes sir Mr Hearn, I’ll see to it immediately”. The assistant quickly turned and left the room as fast as her heals would allow.

Jaron sat back and breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s been a long time since I was able to relax like this.”
He looked around the room.
“Fuck it,” he said out loud to an empty room. “Tell the hanger to have my Venture ready in five minutes, time to relax with some nice quiet mining.” He said into his earpiece.
“Warp drive active.” Aura was soon announcing as the Venture class mining frigate the NZN Baggins slipped into warp on its way to a nearby asteroid field. Jaron smiled to himself. This was his kinda of retirement.

[IC][Press Release]Official ThreeFiveTwo Statement RE: DED Sanctions

YC 117.06.26
352 Industries HQ
Korama V – Moon 20 – Ishukone Corporation Factory

Following the DED’s official announcement of pending sanctions against several Capsuleers, ThreeFiveTwo (registered as 352 Industries) would like to formally announce our support of said Capsuleers and extend an offer of support to any pilots in need.

Any pilot who is forced or who chooses to leave their corporation in order to protect their fellow pilots from potential sanctions is welcome to seek refuge in 352 Industries. As part of this offer, anyone claiming asylum within 352 Industries for this purpose will be have full access to all corporation assets and will be be given a full no strings attached directorship to enable them to continue to operate in all areas of space without restriction.

If you are affected by these sanctions, please contact Darth Skorpius via your preferred method of communication ASAP so that we can stay up to date on what help is needed.

Mila Hearn
352 Industries Public Relations Manager
On behalf of ThreeFiveTwo

Done and Dusted

Well that me done for the semester! Just finished my only exam and with that out of the way I am finished. Now I have 3 and a half weeks off to relax and maybe work on some stuff around home. I don’t have any major projects lined up but will be working on my CV, and am planning to put a 1Tb HDD I have lying around the house into my girlfriends PC. I’ll also likely spend some time going through some of Codecademy’s free online courses and get a head start on PHP ready for my Dynamic Web paper next semester as well as learning a bit of python and probably some Javascript as well. I may even get around to adding some proper content to the websites About Us page.

Once more unto the breach

Oh hai there. Long time no see. I’ve been a bit busy. And a little sick of late. I’ve been hi twice in the past month by a nasty cold, and had been dealing with a toothache for about 2 months until i finally got it taken care of a week ago. School is just hitting the busy period at the end of semester, with assignments due and of semester exams.

In other news, as you may have noticed, I finally found the time to update the website. It now has a fully customized layout and look, built entirely on WordPress – no HTML here aside form whats inside the PHP files that now make up the site. I don’t know nearly enough PHP to have built the whole thing from scratch myself, so I used the GeneratePress theme as a base then heavily customized it to get the look and feel that I wanted. And no I won’t be distributing this theme as it has a lot of things hard-coded into the CSS and PHP files that shouldn’t be and therefore wouldn’t work for anyone else by me. I will however be trying my hand at making a theme from scratch later in the year once I have learned some PHP in Dynamic Web next semester, I’m really looking forward to that!

I also reinstalled the entire web server, and have now set WordPress up to be a multi-site network. I mostly did this do that I could host a second blog for my eCommerce assessment, but it also allowed me to tidy up a few things on the back-end, and I am going to leave it as is. This means that I could easily start hosting other peoples blogs, if I could convince them to pay me for it. I may one day set up a second blog for myself and keep my gaming posts separate from my non gaming posts (such as this one)

I am planning to redo my CV during the break between semesters. My current one is horribly out of date and needs to be redone from scratch. It was last update probably almost ten years ago, and was created about fifteen years ago. I doubt anything on there is still relevant. I’m hoping to find someone to help me with it. Once it’s updated, I plan to start looking for some part time work, there are enough local IT companies that I should be able to find something, hopefully that pays decently.

I also need to write a proper About Us page for the website, and add a services page with the services I can offer (now including web-hosting) and the price I am going to be charging. The Home page also needs to have some proper content to replace the placeholder text that it has had since I first started creating the site last year. And finally I would like to set the footer to always be at the bottom of the screen, or below all the content, which ever is lower (I have already begun work on this).

Last, but certainly not least, I am at some point going to get someone to make me up a proper set of logos for the site to replace the ones I sketched in an old maths book (one of which you can see at the top of the page). If you wish to donate some of your time and skills to help out, please drop me a line, you’ll get full credit for your work and my eternal thanks.

That about wraps up this update. Hopefully the next one won’t be so far away. In the mean time, I have assignments to finish!

It’s been a while…

So it’s been a while since I last posted. After taking a couple of months to just sit back and relax, it’s time to get back into it. I start back at uni in a couple of weeks, February 24th is my first day of classes, starting with some Database Development. Alongside Database Development, this semester is also have Advanced Programming, Network Services and eCommerce Systems. Then next semester I will have Analysis and Design, IT Project Management, Systems Security and Dynamic Web Solutions. As you might be able to tell from the classes I have this year, I am aiming for a specialization in Systems Administration (the Systems Administration paper will come next year.)

So, what have I been up to over the last couple of months? Playing Skyrim mostly, while spending some quality time with my lovely girlfriend (when shes not at work!) I would love to have been able to play EVE, but sadly my internet was too crap to allow it. That has now changed, as we have recently changed ISPs, so now I have a stable enough connection to be able to play EVE. It’s just a matter of finding some time to actually log in and play, as my PC is in the living room, so I can’t play in the evening when the girlfriend and kids are home without disturbing them. Which actually works out quite well, as it means I’ll mostly be playing during the day, in US prime time.

It’s my birthday in 10 days, and my amazing girlfriend is getting me the EVE: Source book (among other things). I’m really looking forward to getting my grubby little mitts on it and reading it cover to cover several times over. I’m also planning to get myself the EVE: The Second Decade Collectors Edition in a couple of days, so it’s going to be some fun and exciting times ahead.

Work on the web site should be resuming soon, so expect an update (and possibly some new pages!) around the end of the month, provided things aren’t too crazy. Now, I’m going back to watching Superstock Teams racing videos on YouTube in preparation for this weekends big meeting, Go Panthers!

[IC] Upload Failed: Unknown Error

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BEGIN TRANSMISSION…

Transmission One

// MILITIA SECRET

BEGIN;

Militia Command,

Two Federation mining capitals, the Hundelstone and the Ironhall, early this morning had their navigation cores and jump systems compromised and were jumped into the hostile low-security system [REDACTED].

We’ve been unable to determine the nature of the attack or to fully restore their jump capability. They are currently at a safe location and cloaked up while repairs are being attempted.

We will keep you appraised of the situation as it evolves as we may require assistance from the Militia.

END;
Transmission Two

// MILITIA SECRET

BEGIN;

Militia Command,

We have been unable to restore jump capability to the ships. The breach of the systems are worse than we feared. Our technicians are reporting that more of the ships systems may be compromised. They are still investigating the extent of the breach.

END;
Transmission Three

// MILITIA SECRET

BEGIN;

Militia Command, The following communique is from Marla Renaez Lead Technician of the Ironhall:

We have narrowed down the breach to the implants of the Capsuleers piloting the Rorquals. An attempt was made to remove the compromised implants but resulted in destruction of the Capsuleer clone. There was a failsafe in the implants. From what we can tell the first is that destruction of the ship by overloading the jump drive. We were able to stop the sequence but the jump drives are completely destroyed. The second it appears that the implants disrupted the transmission of the Capsuleers consciousness. We have confirmed with the medical station that their transmission were not received. We are unable to gain control of the navigation systems. We will need replacement Capsuleers in order to recover the ships.

You orders are find replacement pilots for the Hudlestone and Ironhall and escort them safely back to Federation space. They are under no circumstances to dock in any Federation controlled station. We still do not fully know if any other system has been compromised. We do not want to risk the ship trying to self destruct in a station.

Once you have found replacement pilots assemble an escort fleet. This fleet should bring the capitals to the [REDACTED] system. The priority of the fleet is to get those capitals to safety. We need to run a full diagnostic to try and figure out who and how this attack was perpetrated.

END

TRANSMISSION FAILURE…

ERROR UPLOAD FAILED

UNKNOWN ERROR

PLAYER Owned Structures: Why CCP is Wrong

This is a re-post from my last blog that I thought I would bring back to life now that CCP is conducting a survey on Structures in EVE, and so that I can link to it in my responses. Note that there are a couple of parts that are no longer relevant due to changes to the game since this was originally written (standings changes for example) but I have left them in to preserve the original context and for POSterity (yes that is a terrible pun, no I am not sorry for making it).

Also, probably no Fiction Friday this week as I haven’t had the time to sit down and write something I am happy with (I have a couple of drafts, but they aren’t anywhere near finished and I am not happy with any of them.)

You are probably wondering why i capitalized the word “Player” in the title of this post. it’s because I think that is what CCP is missing. The “Official” in-game name for them is “Starbases” or “Starbase Structures”. But that’s just a lore thing. Everyone calls them POSs, or PLAYER Owned Structure’s. I just did it again. Why? because despite the name, that’s not who actually uses them. What I mean by that, is that except in a very small number of cases, it’s Corporations and even Alliances that are using them. Yes players are the ones managing them. But how many players can say they own their own structure? Almost fucking zero.

They are owned by Corporations and usually paid for by Corporations. And unless you are in a player Corporation, you can’t have one. And even then, the mess that is Corp Roles means you have to jump through like a million hoops and have about 50 different roles to be able to make use of it. And unless you are in a one person Corp on your own, or are the CEO and have no directors in your Corp, you still don’t have sole control over it as a player. CEO’s and Directors automatically have the roles required to go and fuck with your POS. Or they can give someone else the roles to fuck with it for them. Have 5 people in Corp that all have their own POS set up? Each of those 5 people, plus any Directors and the CEO can still go can fuck with each others stuff.

CCP needs to decouple the POS mechanics from Corporations. Make it easier for individual players to have a POS without having to jump through hoops and get permission from their CEO. If this were to happen, I’m 100% certain that more players would start using this feature. There would have to be other changes made to prevent people from sitting in NPC Corps with a completely immune POS. One suggestion to prevent this is to use the fact that CrimeWatch is no longer a jumbled piece of shit and create a new flag for structures that makes them attack-able outside of War-Dec’s.

I understand that having access to a POS is an incentive for joining a player Corporation and that allowing those in NPC Corp’s to have them would change this, with that in mind, perhaps CCP could start by removing all the role requirements from POS’s. Let me set up and run my own POS without jumping through so many fucking hoops. Then let me, the PLAYER, decide how much access I want my Corp mates to have. While you are at it, let me put up a personal POS in High Sec based entirely on my own faction standings, don’t punish me because other members of the Corp ran missions for a different faction than me before I even met them (or didn’t run missions at all). If someone wants to anchor a POS for the Corp, then do the check for Corp standings. And if I change Corp’s, let me take my personal POS with me without having to take it down and put it back up again. Put the PLAYER back in Player Owned Structure.

Or, make a new type of Structure that I as an individual player can call my own. Basically player housing.

Or not. But don’t fucking tell me not enough people use the feature to warrant the Dev time needed for a complete overhaul without looking at the reasons why its not used. Make Personal POS’s possible without all the hoops and you will find more people use them. Which will mean more demand for Ice products and PI. Which is good for everyone. This could be a huge boost to industry, and would make it worth putting effort into a complete POS overhaul. POS’s affect more than just the people directly using them.

Okay, that got a little bit out of hand. But now you know how I feel.

Throwback Thursday – Marradas Madness and New Beginnings

Welcome back to Throwback Thursday. This week we have two for the price of one, as the tow posts presented here are so short. Enjoy!

Marradas Madness

Originally posted 2012.03.19

YC 114.03.02
Todaki VI – Moon 1 – School of Applied Knowledge

“What the fuck Marrada?”
“Oh calm down. I did the training years ago, the Sisters paid for it, and the surgery. It was necessary for my job,” Marrada replied.
Skorp was circling her, examining the Neural Socket at the base of her skull.
“You could have told me. Shit, I could sponsored your License Application and helped speed things along.”
“Don’t worry about it Bro, the Sisters have more pull when it comes to getting Capsuleers licensed than you will ever have.

“You could have been Mind-locked!” Skorp exclaimed loudly.
“That’s bullshit and we both know it.” Marrada snapped back. “Two reasons why. First, genetics. Our family has always been regarded as genetically “better” than others, it’s why our parents moved from Saisio to Kisogo. They couldn’t become Capsuleers themselves for political and professional reasons, but genetically, they knew we could, and moved so we would have a chance.” Marrada sighed.
“They were thinking about us. You, me and even Karras. Even though you were the only one that had been born. They wanted us to have the best possible future. I don’t remember much about them, but I do remember that they were always looking to the future, everything they did, they did for us. They knew that it was only a matter of time before a solution was found that made being a Capsuleer less of a death sentence. And look what happened in YC 105.”

“Fine.” Skorp was starting to sulk now. “What’s the second reason?”
“I’m a stubborn little bitch.” Marrada laughed. “I’m very strong-willed and determined. We both know I don’t like it when I don’t get my own way.”
“It runs in the family.” Skorp replied. “Well, what’s done is done. Only thing left to do now Marrada is get you into the Corp. If you put an app into Legion of Darkwind I can get everything squared away and approve it for you. I hope you realize what you are getting yourself into.”
“Hey speaking of Karras, have you heard anything from him lately?” Marrada asked.
“Nope, but from what I understand, he’s having a blast hanging out with Mordus Legion, I hear he even got to meet the crazy old fool Mordu himself. And he’s supposedly going to be taking part in some new training program Mordu is putting together called ‘Mordus Private Trials’. Should be interesting.”

//

So for those who don’t already know, I now have a second account! / I had a lot of fun the first week I had it, as I didn’t tell my corp, and “recruited” my newly created alt as if they were a different person. I would love to have seen the looks on their faces when they found out! It will teach them not to read my blog, as my new alt is named Marrada Hearn, regular readers will notice that is the name of my mains sister. Which just made it funnier that no one in my corp had a clue! Most of this blog post was written during an ice mining op, which is always boring as shit. Hi Q!

I will TRY to write a special fiction post for Fanfest this weekend, maybe even a couple. Sadly I’m not going, but I do have the HD stream booked! My Quafe shirt looks great! So they will be from the perspective of someone sitting in their Captains Quarters watching from the other side of the Galaxy.

//

New Beginnings

Originally Posted 2012.05.17

YC 114.03.05
Poinen I – Moon 2 – Spacelane Patrol Logistic Support
The Forge Region

“Fuck Marrada. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Sorry bro, I’ve been busy trying to get my head around everything. Not to mention prepping all our crew members for the big move.” Marrada replied sounding exhausted.
“It’s okay. We can deal with it. I’ve had a busy time myself. I’ll sort something out, I’m sure I can get a loan from someone if we need it. And once the move is complete, and we are back up and running we should be good. I’m also hoping Karras can come and join us within the next 6 months, sounds like he’s become a pretty decent mercenary soldier.” Skorp re-assured her.

The two siblings were sitting in a corner of a bar on the Spacelane Patrol Logistics Support Station orbiting the second moon of the first planet in the Poinen system. They were joined by Ambein Flambein, the now former CEO of 352 Industries. “I’m sorry guys, but I have been given the opportunity to help run and lead a new start-up Corporation.” The Vherokior was visibly tired, and was clearly overworked. “The paperwork to get this new venture set up is giving me a headache. Hopefully we can get it started soon. In the mean time, I have left [REDACTED] in charge of 352. I wasn’t sure if you would want to close the corp completely or keep it in stasis.”
“Thank you for all your work Amb. I’ll get in contact with [REDACTED] and get her to wind the corp down. I wish you luck in your new venture, and will help in any way I can.” Skorp shook Ambeins hand and the two parted ways, possibly for the last time.

“Well, it is sad to see him go,” Skorp said with a tinge of sadness in his voice, “but he has some exciting new ventures he is working on that should spice things up in New Eden, assuming anyone takes any notice of him and his venture.” Skorp perked up a bit when saying that.
“Care to fill me in on the details?” Inquired Marrada.
“Sorry Mar, It’s all hush-hush for now, only 3 people in the entire cluster know anything about it, and only a handful more know that it exists. We’ve all been sitting on this for a couple of months now.” Skorp replied. “Anyway, we have more important things to deal with right now, like the impending move to Low-Sec. The system has been picked and things are starting to move along quite quickly at the corp level, we should be living in Low-Sec full-time within 5-6 months.
“Excellent, I shall make sure all the crews are ready and well aware of the risks,” Marrada said.
“Thanks Mar, although not everyone will be part of the move, I’m going to leave some ships here in High-Sec, most notably the Drake, although I may purchase a new one just for use in Low-Sec.” Skorp informed Marrada.

“So when are we actually moving to Low-sec?” Inquired Marrada.
“Not sure, but definitely within the next couple of months, things are moving along slowly at the corp level. We should be announcing something to the Corp and Alliance soon.” Skorp replied. “Then its just a matter of getting people organized and moved down, which will be the hard part.”
“Excellent, I’ll make the necessary preparations, and as soon as I have all the details, I’ll get in touch with some of my contacts and get us some hanger space reserved, as well as get us hooked up with a nice apartment.”
“Okay, time to get back to work and make some ISK, I’ll catch you later Skorpy.” Marrada said as she departed.

//

Authors Note (Not part of the original post): The “top secret” start up corporation stuff that is talked about never materialized, because I was too lazy. I do still have that idea kicking around in my head though, and may one day either try to get it off the ground myself, or pass the idea on to others who do have the skills needed to make it wokr.

And Now For Something Completely Different

This next post is going to be a little different. This is a fictional interview I wrote back in January 2012 for the now defunct Tech4 News. It helps to explain a little bit about my character and his views on ship crews.

//
Originally Posted 2012.01.16

A couple of weeks ago, I gave an interview for a young journalist looking to make it big in the media industry. That interview has been published by Tech 4 News as part of a new series of articles and interviews on Capsuleer’s. The full article can be found here. What follows is the transcript for the interview itself, provided to me by the person who conducted the interview, Mila

Mila
Why do you pay your crews so much?
Darth Skorpius
Why not? I mean, there’s no shortage of people volunteering to crew a Capsuleers ship, as even the shittiest among us still pay their crews, even if they don’t know it and the ISK doesn’t come out of their wallets, the crews are still being paid. I honestly have no idea where the ISK is coming from, and nor do most Capsuleer’s, but one theory is that CONCORD pays them. I decided to take a more active role, as a result, turn-over rates have dropped dramatically. Even when the ship is docked and not doing anything, the crews are still being paid, so there is no desire for them to find other income sources.

M
What do you mean by other income sources?
DS
[Laughs] Well, there’s no point in them sitting around in station not earning anything is there? So some of them might turn to illegal activities, drug smuggling and dealing, that sort of thing. But most of them just go and find another ship to crew, so then you have to replace those crew members who have jumped ship. By paying them they way I do, they are more than happy to sit around in station twiddling their thumbs.

M
What sort of things do your crews do to keep themselves from going stir crazy while in station?
DS
Most of them are actually studying, so they can be better at their jobs, or so they can move up the ladder to another position. Others just play Holo-vid games. One is actually writing a book. I have no idea what the book is about, but I have been promised a copy once its been published. Oh and there’s a rumor that some of my Raven’s crews members are putting together a movie that will be based entirely within the confines of my raven, with a cameo by yours-truly!

M
Sounds like you let them have a lot of freedom
DS
Yeah, when we undock, everyone has a job to do, until given the stand down order. after that, they have a bit of freedom, as long as they drop what they are doing when the alarms sound. In station, after they have carried out their assigned duties, they are free to do what they want, as long as they return to the ship when required.

M
Why go to such lengths? Is it really worth the cost?
DS
Yes it is worth the costs. I have an almost zero percent turn-over rate, its less than 1%. And I only have a turn-over rate because losing ships is inevitable. If I could fit all my crew members with cloning tech, I would, but that’s not possible. Yet.
M
Yet? care to elaborate on that?
DS
[Laughs] There’s not a whole lot I can say really, just that there is some new tech in development for ground based combat, “Drop-suits” with some pretty basic cloning tech in them, there aren’t a whole lot of details available at the moment as those involved with the development of the tech are keeping tight lips. Hopefully more details will become available in the next 6 months.

M
So the Empires are about to get some new toys to kill each other with?
DS
As far as I’m aware, some of them already have these new toys, but not at a level where they are willing to talk about it yet, Capsuleers will be getting these new toys to help them fight their wars at some point I would imagine, it would be hard to keep Capsuleers from taking advantage of the new tech, although I’m sure CONCORD and the Empires will do everything they can to keep us from getting our hands on it.

M
Talking to some of your family and friends from when you were a child, you were a bit of a dick when you were younger, what changed?
DS
Honestly, I got bored. Somewhere during my second year as a Capsuleer I realised that my attitude and acting like a dick wasn’t achieving anything, and that even though I fit right in as a Capsuleer, it just didn’t feel right to me. So I made the decision to change. I started taking a more active role in the welfare of my crews, and noticed a big improvement in ship performance. Before, my crew were a bit sluggish to respond, nothing major, but sometimes the warp drives would take a second longer to kick in than they should, and the guns a second longer to reload. Little things like that. After the change in my attitude towards the crew, those little things went away. I also noticed that the crew were a lot happier, I used to avoid them as much as possible when in station, often just staying my pod, but after the change in my attitude, I started to interact with them more, which made the crew even happier.

M
Wow, it really makes that much of a difference?
DS
It really does. I got to know the guys guys running the crew, the crew chiefs I call them. They are the ones that actually keep everyone in-line, as I can’t just step out of my pod and pimp slap someone who isn’t doing their job now can I? If it wasn’t for the crew chiefs, I don’t know what I would do. And one in particular I owe my life to, as when my pod malfunctioned back in YC 110, he made sure the Sisters of EVE got to me in time.
M
I’m guessing he’s retired now.
DS
Sort of. He still works for me, but he doesn’t work on any ship’s anymore. He is the head of Human Resources for 352 Industries, overseeing all of their personnel. He’s a real people person, so when he came to me in November YC 112 and said he was, and this is a direct quote, “getting too old for this shit”, [laughter], I asked if he was still interested in working for me and offered him a desk job with 352 Industries, which thankfully he accepted.

M
Your sister used to work for the Sisters of EVE, did that create any tension between the two of you?
DS
Not really. If it wasn’t for the accident back in YC 110, I don’t think we would have ever got back in touch with each other. I was only vaguely aware that I even had a sister until the accident, and she had no clue what my Capsuleer name was. While I was waiting for CONCORD to give me my Capsuleers Licence, we kept in touch, but once I got my licence, I was so busy being an immortal that I kinda forgot about her. After the accident, I was so messed up that I didn’t know who I was, let alone who anyone else was, and it took a while before I truly remembered I had a sister. Now that we have reconnected, I’m hoping that we can get to know each other.

M
Thank your for taking the time to sit down with me and answer my questions. Is there anything else you would like to add?
DS
Not a problem. For anyone interested in following my adventures, please visit my personal Galnet site.

Fiction Friday – Crippled Caracal

Welcome to another installment of Fiction Friday! This week’s installment is going to be a repost of sorts. A large chunk of this was originally posted on my old blog The Skorpius Chronicles Back in January 2012, however I have added to it and made some alterations. A short WARNING: this post contains a LOT of profanity. I hope you enjoy!

YC 110.09.[REDACTED]
X-7OMU – In the vicinity of Planet V

The ship slammed to a stop as it dropped out of warp. “What the fuck was that?” Screamed the crew chief. “Which one if you fucks has been messing with the inertial dampener, and why the fuck did we drop out of warp? Give me an engineering report NOW!”
“Capacitor, normal. Warp drives, normal. Sublights, normal. I’m not seeing anything wrong here Captain, everything is green.” replied the chief engineering officer. “No, wait, Neural Interface, status UNKNOWN.”
“Shit shit shit. Anything but unknown, give me offline any day, but anything but unknown. FUCK.” The crew chief was trying to keep clam. “Okay, someone tell me where the fuck we are.”
“We are near the fifth planet of the X-7OMU system, deep in null sec. Sir? Its a Sisters system.” The navigation officer was calm and to the point.

“Alright everyone. Initiate evac procedure five, two, six, six, three. And send a distress call to the Sisters, get them to come pick us up. MOVE!” With that, the crew chief started walking briskly.
“Where are you going Captain?” asked a member of the crew while the bridge crew was evacuating.
“To the gantry room, need to check his vitals, make sure hes still alive in there.” replied the crew chief. “And for the last time, don’t fucking call me captain. I’m not the captain, I’m the crew chief. The captain is floating in a pod filled with goo, and his fucking neural interface isn’t responding. now hurry the fuck up and get your ass off this boat now!” The crew chief snapped back, starting to lose his cool.

It took the crew chief longer than he would have liked to make it to the gantry room, he took a wrong turn on at least three occasions, but it could have been more, he lost track after that point. When he finally got there, he breathed a sigh of relief, soon he could get off this floating death-trap. After taking a moment to get his breath back, he briskly walked over to the holo-vid screen next to the gantry. “Fuck.” He swore as he checked his captains vitals. Elevated pulse, brain activity all over the place. “What the fuck is going on here?” He thought to himself. “This is fucking ridiculous!”

Suddenly, klaxons started blaring and lights started flashing as an alarm sounded. “What the fuck is that?” The crew chief swore to himself as he checked the screen in front of him. “Oh shit, the self destruct!” He took off running at full speed, tearing through the hallways to the nearest escape pod. he reached it in less than a minute despite being deep in the bowels of the ship. “Launch the fucking pods NOW!” He yelled at the crew who were waiting for the command to be given to launch all pods. “Tell the others to launch now,” he managed to breath as he skidded to a halt just inside the doors of the escape pod, slamming his fist on the button to close the pods doors as he did so. With less than 10 seconds to spare all pods reported they were clear of the ship. All view ports on the escape pods had faces pressed up against them as the Caracal exploded moments before the Sisters of EVE arrived.

YC 110.09.[REDACTED] (Three Days Earlier)
[LOCATION REDACTED]

0710
“Relax, I’ll only be gone for a few days.” Jaron reassured the sexy Gallente woman lying naked in his bed.
“But it’s NullSec. It’s dangerous.” She wined in reply.
“Maybe for some. But I’m a Capsuleer. Even if I get attacked, I still have my med clones to keep em safe. I’ll be back safe and sound before you know it.”
Jaron fumbled with his pants as he left the room, smiling as he glanced back at the slender naked form lying in his bed.

1000
“Is everything ready to go?”
“Yes Mr Hearn. The supplies are all loaded and safely stowed for the journey, and the Crew have all be recalled from leave. They are being briefed by the crew chief now, Sir.”
“Excellent. I trust I can count on you to keep things under control while I am gone?”
“Yes Sir! Have a safe trip, and enjoy your time away form the empires.”
As soon as the Capsuleer was out of sight, the hanger chief wiped his brow.
“Goodbye and good riddance you egger fuck. I hope you burn in hell.”